Relationship endings are difficult enough on their own.

But ending a relationship with a narcissist?

Is on a whole new level of “difficult”.

This is because, during the “discard” phase, the narcissist is concerned with:

Saving face
Gaining support
Preserving their reputation
Being seen as “the victim”

At this point, their interest in or exploitation of *you* is done – so they have no problem twisting, distorting, or downright lying about what happened between you two.

Here’s how to spot the narcissist after a relationship ends:

They meet with your mutual friends and even your own family members to explain what “really” happened
They have a long list of ways they tried to “make it work” or how you treated them poorly
They leave out what *they* did in the relationship or minimize their actions, so other people have no context for what happened
They flat out lie about their ex and try to destroy their character and/or reputation
They bring up how they were “wronged” in the relationship months or even years after it ended

If you’ve ever been the target of a narcissist’s smear campaign, you know how hurtful, outlandish, and infuriating this can be.

My encouragement to you is this:

Stay calm.
Know your truth.
Explain the truth to those who are *open* to hearing it.
Let go of defending yourself to everyone the narcissist lies to.

At the end of the day, if someone is willing to listen (and believe) the narcissist’s lies without even talking to you or hearing your truth…

You don’t really want that person in your life anyway.

Anyone who can be that easily turned against you wasn’t ever really *for* you anyway.

The people who know you, will believe you.

If you’re looking to heal from narcissistic abuse or relationship trauma, I can help! I specialize in helping people heal from toxic, dysfunctional, or harmful relationships. I recommend starting here and getting my free bimonthly newsletter. Or contact me today about working together via therapy or coaching.