Narcissists can be anywhere – in church, in schools, and most certainly in your family.
So what if the narcissist… is your sibling?
In that case, you can expect a lot of backstabbing, triangulating, and blame-throwing.
Narcissistic siblings want to be viewed as “the golden child” so they’ll often do this in one of two ways:
Being the “perfect” one (best grades, perfect smile, most successful)
Being the “enabled” one (they always get their way and never do anything wrong)
And at times, narcissistic siblings may be the scapegoat, particularly if they go against a narcissistic parent.
Narcissistic siblings find ways to manipulate everyone in the family and often pit people against one another.
They might talk poorly about you to your mom, then turnaround and talk poorly to you about your mom.
They often say someone said or did something they never did, just to create drama.
They often look at their other siblings as competition, trying to be seen as the:
Better
Smarter
More attractive
One at all costs.
You might feel really close to them at one time, and then feel completely discarded by them at another time.
It all depends on whether or not the narcissist can benefit from a relationship with you.
Narcissistic siblings can be especially damaging to the family system, since your parent(s) may or may not realize that their child is a narcissist.
This can put a lot of strain on the family, as cutting ties with your sibling might mean distancing yourself from other loved ones, too.
The reality is, some family members will get it, and some won’t.
Which leaves you to determine how to set appropriate boundaries with your narcissistic sibling while still keeping a close relationship with others.
Where there’s a narcissist, there’s always an enabler nearby.
And this couldn’t be any more true if the narcissist is your sibling!
Do you have narcissistic family members? How do you set boundaries with the narcissist, their enablers, and others?
If you’re looking to heal from narcissistic abuse or relationship trauma, I can help! I specialize in helping people heal from toxic, dysfunctional, or harmful relationships. I recommend starting here and getting my free bimonthly newsletter. Or contact me today about working together via therapy or coaching.
Chelsey Brooke Cole is a psychotherapist, best-selling author, speaker, and coach specializing in narcissistic abuse and relational trauma. Praised as "Enlightening and Empowering" Chelsey's new book, If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth is available wherever books are sold.
